Ng Zangpo
Tuesday, November 27, 2001
Saw Mulholland Dr. last Wednesday. Wonderful film. I didn't find it as difficult to follow as others had indicated, of course, I like Lynch. I'd see it again if I could, but it stopped playing on Thursday. I might make a trip to Canal place if they still have it.

One of the best parts about it is the structure. The latter portion of the film is like a receding. Hard to explain, but it seemed to be a simultaneous abstraction of the preceding portion. There's some touching stuff in that movie, which transformed the whole landscape of my experience -- quite noticably so directly after the movie.

It also reminded me of the importance of listening. His sound editing is the finest I've ever encountered in film. Meditation on sound is something I haven't done enough of recently. Too busy thinking about what I could be doing or what I should be doing. There's profound meaning in sound, and it can be a window to calmness, in my experience. Also present in the film is this idea of the invisible (sound), and the visible. Recall Cage's Imaginary Landscapes with the twelve radios played by twenty-four players; bringing forth these random transmissions and their frequency noises which are constantly present, but unseen. Mystery is found throughout the film, and reflection on death, concrete/illusion, sound/silence, Silencio, Crying...

It's just a damn fine movie.

Tuesday, November 20, 2001
Went to see Verdi's Requiem last night. There are some parts that are kind of obscene. He was, of course, an opera composer, and the treatment of a requiem requires some class befitting such contemplation. Some parts were almost comical. For instance, there's a part where the baritone sings with soft looming string responses: Mort (nuh-na) Mort (nuh-na).. Sounded like Bugs Bunny to me, but that's a different issue altogether. Overall I liked it, just as an exercise in viewing the public contemplating (more or less) death in the concert hall. And the general contemplation of the piece with the whole dramatic problem is interesting. Here's my notes from the show:

Eternum hopes for Eternum, who lasts in Eternum?
Display birth death fountain of emptiness, building crush
the collective fear of man
Oh, is this about me? Crying toddler.
A comedy of Christ? Doesn't add up to beans.
We're in it.
What about the genuine desire for good here, though?
High trumpet, "What to do?" "Where am I?" "Damn, didn't hit it clean!"
get our attention then Mort badum Mort badum, no more real than Bugs Bunny
Harmony! o my poor harmony. Snort (man behind me)
Grand sit down. (the chorus flops down, all 250 of them)
Brave Bassoon bravo!
Strings get ready to join the weeping singers like they're about to assassinate them with their instruments, get ready...
My villa! My beautiful stream and ornate furniture!
Grand stand up. Boom!
Salve! Salve! I demand Salve! (weeping)
Empty gestures, rumble of death fading to...

Contempt in all this drama? What for?
Unfamiliar enthusiasm can be a great thing. Poor approach with no stamina, but hey..

Drama of belief?
I was ending major, and it minored out from under me.
Sanctus! Sanctus! (loud and garish) Sanctus Sanctus Sanctus (skipping down the street)

Your concentration slaughtered. Agnus Dei.
Aw, yer sluggish flutes. 's okay.

The union of the man and the woman, do we know it?
All together soon.
Can't be bothered, wish I were home.
sad requiem of confusion, fugue and its disjunctions

Libera Me. Okay, everyone... ( du calme , du calme )

Wednesday, November 14, 2001
To People of Power: Okay, or do it your way and get the Northern Alliance to open up a large part of the country to substantial food aid runs. That works too, great.

Didn't seem likely to me a few days ago, which is why I should go back to doing experimental stuff instead of responding to the news.

Been spending a lot of time doing National Novel Writing Month. Actually, not enough time because I'm not sure I'll be close to finishing, but it is good fun.

Friday, November 09, 2001
Today is our 2nd anniversary. It has been a fun two years, and we still have the same open approach that we did then. I threw caution to the wind and decided to dive into it all right before then, and still do.

Of course, I'm only marginally successful in my commitment to non-attachment. For example, Three nights ago I do chod practice, offering my body and freedom from attachment, and then a couple hours later I cut my pinky finger accidentally breaking a glass, and part of me is angry and upset that my finger is cut and will scar. Although, in my defense, part of me was kind of intrigued by thesight of my blood and the fold of cut flesh, and trying to be consistent with the powerful offering and subtle wisdom of chod.

Wednesday, November 07, 2001
To people of power: Stop bombing for a while to get some food in. Help get food in.